It's Friday/ Saturday night. What are you doing? Some people are curled up watching films, others are getting ready for a night out to go to various pubs and clubs. Me? I'm usually the first one, already in my pyjamas as soon as dinner is finished, ready to watch films or TV shows all night.
But I wasn't always like that, there was a time I used to go out nearly every weekend. I used to be able to dance, drink and party all night and into the early hours of the morning. Usually coming home at around 3 or 4 am. Thinking back I wasn't unhappy but I wasn't really happy either. I just didn't realise it was perfectly fine to stay at home. I feel like there is such a social pressure to go out clubbing and drinking when you hit 18 years old, that I felt like I had to. To those out there who think why didn't I just say no? There is that little voice of anxiety inside which makes you feel like if you don't go out, people will stop liking you.
There are many reasons why I don't go out anymore, largely because I've just grown out of it. I just don't really see the appeal of going into a club anymore. Another reason being I never felt like I fit in, by that I mean I never felt pretty. I would look around see my friends and all the girls wear dresses and full makeup and think I have no chance of being noticed. Sometimes I did, and really occasionally attracted the attention of real creeps who think its acceptable to grope inappropriately. I know the point of going out isn't to get noticed, but for me I felt like I had to. Throughout my teens I constantly felt inadequate and plain compared to my friends. On my down days I still feel like this now, but have much better coping strategies.
Sorry I've rambled a bit. If you were to take anything from this it would be just be happy with who you are. If you like partying that's fine and if, like me, you enjoy staying in whilst your friends go out. That's okay too! Your friends won't stop being your friends just because you don't like going out. If so they aren't real friends.