My Scoliosis journey

I decided to do this post because I realised its been about 11 years since I had major surgery. I have Scoliosis. For anyone who doesn't know it is a curvature of the spine. Scoliosis is something you are born with, that usually progresses as you grow. Some people will only have it mildly, whilst others are much more severe. I found out I had it when I was 13 due to collapsing on a day trip to Nottingham (fun day out that turned out to be). One year and many X-rays, appointments and poking and prodding later, it was decided my spine was serious enough to require surgery. At its worst my spine was 75 degrees (away from the centre).

It didn't really sink in until the morning of the surgery when I was showering pre-operation. I remember bits and pieces before surgery, like having to lay watching Big Brother and that a cannula hurts to be put in! Approximately 7 hours later surgery was over and I was woken up in HDU, again memories a little hazy but I was told the couldn't straighten it as much as they wanted to but managed to go from 75 to around 55. They also had to do a bone graft from my hip and put it in my neck bone to prevent my neck from breaking. This was down to the wearing down of my skull into my spine. The surgery itself involves screwing screws and a rod onto the spine to straighten it. The rods and screws were fused from T2 to T12 (no idea, but its about half my spine from the bottom of my neck).

This is me about 5 days after surgery. I stayed in hospital just over a week. About 3 or 4 days I was sitting up and had to remember how to walk again. Which after laying down for that long, not being able to move on my own and now having a metal rod in my spine. It took a little while to get my balance back! I was told I couldn't do any physical activity for a year, so no bungee jumping for me (oh no..)

I had to miss the first month of year 10, which was hard because I had to begin my GCSEs at home and was starting mock exams pretty much as soon as I got back to school again. But I managed with the help from the school and friends. 

Fast forward to today. I still have aches and pains. But without the surgery my quality of life would be so much different. I don't regret having surgery. 

Things I have learnt:

- Scoliosis isn't just back pain. 

- Surgery makes you realise your strength

- It doesn't hold you back

- You will be in pain for the rest of your life the alternative would have meant my life would have

been very different. 

-You have cool scars and a story to tell

My scar is still only just visible. It took me a long time to get comfortable with my scars and now I'm proud of them.  

Any questions just ask :)

xx

Body shaming and self image

I think everyone at some point in their life has felt awful because of what someone has said to them. From other posts you know I've been bullied in the past. And as much as I say I've got through it, when I have one of my bad days they resurface.

Words hold so much power, it's something we all use everyday whether through speech or writing things down. I'll give you an example, with my NF1 I have birth marks or cafe-au'-laits marks over my body. This includes freckling on my armpits, groin area and chest. So, being told by a friend 'ew what's that on your chest' bothered me. Purely by choice of wording, I felt like I was being pointed out for something I was born with. This is the same by telling someone they are too fat, skinny, tall or small. On the surface it seems like nothing. But to the person you say it to, it can hold a lot more power than you realise.

How you see yourself is just as important as how you see others. Personally I feel that even though I know I'm not perfect, I know it makes me.. me.
-My scars have shown the surgery I had, without which I'd probably be severely crippled by now.
-My birth marks show I have NF1.
-My face shows I'm half Japanese.

 Being able to embrace who you are takes time, I'm only just starting to get to the point where I am able to do this. That knowing you are enough and people should never have the power to make you feel any different. So smile more and remember it's alright not to be what other deem to be perfect.

There's been no one exactly like you in the past, and no one will be like you in the future.. unless we invent cloning. But that's not my point..

xx