For as long as I can remember I've been bullied for one thing or another. Whether it was my height, the fact I'm half Japanese, well my appearance in general. Many of the things I was bullied have permanently mentally scarred me for life. There are events that happened when I was 6 at school that I remember with such clarity (bearing in mind this was 18 years ago). All of this led to re-occurring panic attacks, feeling sick all the time. When it's at its worst it meant finding any excuse I could not to leave the house. Even now with the coping strategies I have there, are still some bad days.
My anxiety flares up when I'm in crowds. This could be by being in town when it's busy, a busy street, when I used to go out clubbing or even a crowded lift. This often means that when I get asked to go out there's days I'll have to cancel because I start to panic. Which is not only frustrating for me, but I often think my friends too, luckily all of whom are supportive.
I could ramble for ages about it and there's probably things I've forgotten to say, but that's my anxiety in a nutshell. Next time I'll talk about ways I overcome it.
xx
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